Gap Year?

This post has nothing to do with NSLI-Y or traveling, but I just felt the need to blog about this anyways. With junior year coming to a close, it seems like it has become increasingly crucial for me to figure out what I want to do in life. But the problem is I don't exactly know what I want to do in life.

My goal has always been to graduate high school and then attend a top-notch college. I mean, isn't that most people's goal? Lately, however, I've been thinking of going in a different direction. In the fall, I am planning to apply for another NSLI-Y scholarship to study in China for a full year (okay, so I lied. It is sort of related to NSLI-Y and traveling). If I were to get in, that would mean taking a gap year.

Taking a gap year has never been on my agenda before, but the prospect of studying Chinese in China for a whole year is just so enticing! Plus, it will help me re-evaluate my choices and figure out what I want to do in life. Right now, I might say that I want to go into International Business, Business Administration, or Event Management/Coordination, but I just don't really know for sure. Heck, I was even thinking about majoring in Communications & Media and International Relations at the beginning of the year. I seem to change my mind a lot. I do know that I want to minor in Chinese, however, so taking a gap year with NSLI-Y would be beneficial. Not to mention, it would improve my proficiency in Chinese and bring me one step closer to fluency.

So what's the problem? I seem like I'm really keen about taking a gap year abroad don't I? Honestly, I don't really know. I don't know what's holding me back. I guess one reason is because of scholarships. I know that if I were to take a gap year, I might have to forfeit some of my scholarships. Without scholarships and financial aid, going to college would be incredibly expensive and out of my reach. It's something that I have to think over long and hard.

Well, this was a pretty useless post. I'm not even a senior yet, but it doesn't hurt to think about my choices beforehand. I guess I'll apply for a year scholarship in the fall and see where it goes from there. I really hope I get accepted...that way I can at least keep my options open until the very end. I am positive I want to take a gap year to study abroad, but at the same time, I am hesitant to do so. Ahh, I'm just full of contradictions.

I envy how everyone seems to know what they want to do in life. Yet I am here, still struggling to figure out what I want to do with my own life. My goal for this summer is to do some self-discovering. Maybe it will strengthen my decision to take a gap year after high school? I don't know. Even if it's only for 6 weeks, I know that it will definitely be a rewarding experience.

Until next time,
Christine